Therefore, Hansel must use his wiles to outsmart the devil and escape Hell which turns out to be a hilarious endeavor that ends up with Hansel dressing as the “mother devil” and singing like a dead cat. Unfortunately, his new “father” has a gambling problem and gambles Hansel’s life away over a game of cards with Satan. While Gretel is suffering, being nearly killed by an evil warlock, Hansel is living the life in a kingdom nearby.

After saving the seven sons and escaping these wicked parents (who had the best intentions) Hansel and Gretel begin living in a magical wood that unfortunately turns Hansel into a werewolf and leads Gretel to move to a nearby town, fall in love with an evil warlock and eventually sentence him to death by oil and snakes. After escaping, the children find solace with a couple who recently traded their seven sons so that they could have the daughter (enter: Gretel) that they always wanted. Their adventures start of course with the wicked witch who tries to eat them for supper after fattening them up on her house made of gingerbread. These children have adventure after adventure, all the while searching for a parent figure who won’t try to harm (or kill) them. It is a story about two children who run away after their father cuts off their heads to save his faithful servant, Johannes. This however, is the “real” story of Hansel and Gretel. But maybe it’s not awesome.Įxcept – and here’s the thing – that’s not the real story of Hansel and Gretel.” But before she can follow through on her (perfectly reasonable) plan, they lock her in an oven and bake her to death.

Two greedy little children try to eat a witch’s house, so she decides to cook and eat them instead – which is fair, it seems to me. The real Grimm stories are not like that. Very few little girls in red caps in those. Little girls in red caps skipping around the forest? Awesome? I don’t think so. A little while ago, I wouldn’t have believed it myself. “Once upon a time, fairy tales were awesome.

Recommended For: Readers wanting humorous retellings of old fables that will lighten the heart.

Source: Received an ARC from the publisher via Netgalley Series information: Book 1 in a planned series

A tale dark and grimm author